escape

Dear ex boyfriend

I feel like I’d never be able to have enough words to even some what empty my brain. I don’t hate you yet I do. I spent two years of my life battling to be the best girl I could possibly be for you, I wanted to take care of you and make you happy. I lived to make you smile and always put you first in my life. I supported you through what ever you were dealing with at the time, financially, emotionally, just with everything. You practically moved in without me in fully agreeing. I wanted to be your rock. That person that was never going anywhere I loved you whole heartedly. being with you was probably the most selfless I have ever been in my entire life. And you built these dreams in my head of marriage and that I could really have someone. Someone that would love me forever. That I would actually have someone in my life that wouldn’t leave, or never care about me, someone that would finally love me unconditionally. And then out of the blue you broke up with me, wouldn’t even listen to me, moved out, and a week later started talking to someone new. Posted pictures, tweeted… And left me here to pick up my pieces the same way I always do. And I was confused and alone and proven that I was never meant to have that person I thought you’d be. And sometimes my chest feels heavy and my heart aches and other times I feel and happy to be free and single and finally care about myself again. And when I finally get to good places you insult me over the Internet and make me cry all over again for things I haven’t done because I’m still rooting for you. I’m rooting for your happiness and not my own. I don’t know what I did to you to make you just completely stop caring about me, but I now I just feel like I suck I will forever suck.